and so we pause

i'll never understand death. i know we can't expect to live forever, and maybe we wouldn't want to as our bodies become less able to keep up with the things we put it through, but to me death has always seemed like this unjust event which can never equate to the collection of humbling, awe-inspiring (for good and bad) moments you experienced throughout your time on this planet. i absolutely do fear death, despite believing in God and being "right" spiritually. and the reason i fear it, the reason it seems so unfair, is that in the exact miraculous moment a life expires his/her final burst of air and leaves this earthly place the world doesn't stop for even a tiny second. and i feel as though it should. why can't there just be a brief pause, a moment or two to nod recognition in that person's favor a "well done" of sorts. we'll give a moment of silence at a sporting event like it comes with the ticket price but never, not once, is there any silence in this world the exact moment someone leaves it. instead, as the breath leaves the body one last time activities continue all around; groceries are shopped for, clothes are shuffled through on department store racks, parking spaces hunted. time stands still for no one except the loved ones that hover in agony next to the deceased person's diminished frame and that will never be good enough for me. in life all we're trying to do is be seen, be a voice that's heard, and to make even the tiniest of impacts. so what's wrong with wanting to know that in the end our life meant something to someone other than us? that it wasn't all for nought afterall.

godspeed, margie. for as long as you could muster the strength to you lived each day with such beauty, grace, and love. your footprints will be missed...and so we pause.